Dating a 21 year old woman

Share via Email The dilemma I have a year-old daughter who I believe is in a relationship with a year-old man. When I ask her about it, she flatly denies it, but she is an attractive girl who has never shown any interest in guys her own age, and she lies to me about where she is going. I split up from her father five years ago and although I have a reasonably amicable relationship with him, my daughter does not.

I am fed up with her lying to me, but she is my child and I want the best for her. Should I confront her with her father there, too? Should I speak to the man she is having the relationship with? Is your intention to get her to end the relationship, to encourage her to confide in you in order to improve the relationship between you, or to have a family showdown? Your child is now an adult and any jot of juristic control that you once had over her comings and goings and general choices in life is no longer in effect.

That said, she has chosen to remain under your roof and if your intention is to force her to end the affair, then I suppose that is your one trump card.

Having not sought an independent lifestyle, she has to some extent forfeited her rights to one, and could potentially be pressed to disclosure under threat of eviction. But what exactly would that achieve? Not to mention the effect of a nagging concern that your divorce may have been a contributing factor to her relationship choice. I understand and sympathise. She may well feel utterly rejected by her father and therefore have found what to her seems an ideal replacement.

At an insecure period in her life, around the time she was finishing school, another cataclysmic event took place when you and her father decided to separate.

It will also have contributed to her feelings of low self-esteem, which also explains why she is lingering at home despite the fractious relationship with you. Her feelings of low self-worth will only be exacerbated by your antagonistic approach to her relationship. What incentive is there to confide in you when she already knows that you disapprove wholeheartedly and want to force her to end the affair? Applying a less judgmental and more sympathetic approach would go a long way to achieving your goal.

I suggest you gently encourage her to open up by beginning conversations about unrelated matters, in the long run letting her make a positive choice to disclose rather than confessing as the result of coercion. Your daughter will not end the affair just because you disapprove. Make it your goal to become her shoulder to cry on by the time it reaches its inevitable conclusion. Prolonging your aggressively opposing position will only ensure she carries on, just to spite you.

My suggestion is that you try an altogether more holistic approach that includes, despite any resentment you might harbour, improving her relationship with her father. You need to examine all the contributing factors in order to understand why a seemingly mature and to her rich sugar daddy might appear an appealing option.


Mar 10, †∑ Is it OK for a 26 year old to date a 21 year old? Or is the age difference too great, at too young of an age? I understand that a 60 year old being married to . I know people say that there mature 21 year olds, and that is true. But from my experience, that maturity isnít enough or sufficient for me to conclude that they are relationship material. How do you feel about a 25 year old woman dating a 20 year old man? Is it appropriate for me, a 32 year old Asian man to be dating a year-old White.

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