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Beautiful in His Time is a participant in multiple affiliate marketing programs. The author of this blog may receive commission for purchases or clicks made through links on this website. I re-read it a few days ago and realized that all of these comments were justified and warranted.

This post was an honest, raw vent. It was also one-sided and definitely not the fairest treatment of my husband and my marriage. In this post, I used a lot of hyperbole, the extremest of extreme examples, and an immature writing style. I also tend to forget that when people land on a post, it may be the only post they ever read. Unfortunately, and possible fortunately? This leads me to believe that there is a need for people to honestly address the topic of mismatched introvert-extrovert marriages.

Many of the positive comments to this post also confirm this. I am drafting a follow-up post possibly even a series on the topic. I love my husband. Even in the year since writing this post, we have come SO FAR in our ability to communicate our needs and desires to each other and lead a more balanced marriage in which both of our needs our met. So please, by all means, read this post.

But as you do, please keep this disclaimer and explanation in mind. Thank you for understanding. We are like oil and water. We would never mix. He was wrong, obviously. I mean, we have to be doing something right. Our differences which are stark and many complement each other well in countless different ways.

You get the point. But on the other hand, there are sometimes I remember his words, and I think he might have been onto something. You see, here is my honest confession as an introverted wife: I love my husband to the moon and back. I mean, it kind of is him. Because, I mean, he was joking. And thus began almost-9 married years of him wanting, needing, craving interaction with me. Except for all of the questions: What do you want me to do with this meat sitting out?

It seems like we are out of bagels. Why are there 6 boxes of Cheerios again? Are you done drinking this? Does this basket go downstairs or upstairs? What is Ezra supposed to be doing right now?

How can I help you feel better? Do you want me to make you some tea? Do you want to take a bath? What do you need? You are going to want and need affection. You are going to want to cuddle and talk. Getting affection out of him is going to be like pulling teeth. So introversion was sort of the norm for all of us. Add to that — my husband is pretty…shall we say…intense? If you have ever met my husband or spent any time interacting with him in person, then this really needs no explanation.

Add to that — Ezra, our 6 year old, is pretty much a carbon copy of his father, with a whole boatload of behavioral needs thrown in.

I still carry a pretty intense interest in all things Myers-Briggs and personality typing. I need lots of alone time. I know that God made me this way. I know that He made my husband to be just the opposite. And I know that he put us together. But it is really hard sometimes. For both of us. He misses me and all of us when he is at work. Every single morning he mopes as he leaves the house because he wants, so desperately, to spend time with us.

He loves to text me at work. One time, I counted and he had sent me 63 text messages in one day. Then, two years later, we sat down and had a talk about boundaries. This past year, we had a fight ish because he wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday and where I wanted to go as a family.

If I could spend the entire day in a hotel room by myself, I would! Then I felt like the worst wife ever. This happens all the times. I hear you saying you would KILL to have a husband so invested and caring and interested and affectionate. Just one more day. One more moment cuddling on the couch.

Now, I push him away. And then I hate myself for it. This is why my year pursuing whitespace was so important. This post, really, is just a vent.


Personality Hacker is an organization designed to help people leverage their own mental processes to optimize whatever can be optimized: productivity, communication, job satisfaction, and most importantly – happiness. When we get these needs met we stop being so myopic and start seeing a bigger picture. They say that one man’s heaven is another man’s hell and that couldn’t be truer when it comes to the sixteen Myers-Briggs Personality Types.

Total 3 comments.
#1 11.09.2018 Š² 17:36 Detonatorx:
What should be expected, the author wrote sadly!

#2 19.09.2018 Š² 10:42 Chomedy453:
Pisaka shot his knee

#3 25.09.2018 Š² 05:47 Otto:
In general, the owner of the site abruptly published.